Reality is the Playground for Illusion

Reality is the Playground of Illusion-final

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Each moment of my day is spent in an active, walking-conscious state. This marriage between reality and consciousness doesn’t happen overnight; in fact, I have resisted it in exchange for different states of illusion for most of my healing journey.  For me, the things I resisted actually did persist; as it turned out, I was lucky for that. HA! Illusions have humor. Our illusionary state can help blind us to our future Self’s intentions when the place we are currently in is a quantum leap from where we are going. I remember over 15 years ago receiving a Shamanic session and telling the facilitator I would never want to live as she did, as a monk-type person, processing the energy fluctuations of clients and the world. My subconscious mind was nodding to my future reality in that statement to her. While at the same time, my slick, fast-paced, logical mind was on a fantasy island, boasting innocently. My past Self just couldn’t imagine living that slower-paced life or meeting the demands to constantly listening within for all of life's questions to be answered; that was the illusion. As it turns out, we are all made this way, and I wasn’t wrong; becoming self-realized took all of me to accomplish. 

We circumvent ourselves with illusions. It’s that old story I began telling in the early 2000s, we desire the thing outside of us. The examples of this are as diverse as our DNA; here are a few - the fake-ideal thin-blonde model that represents beauty, being a fast-thinking person who has all the answers immediately, or dumbing yourself down to fit in. Some strive for these aspirations versus embracing the innate state of their essential Self. The thing you resist might be the sweetest, most simple, and most real dream. Who we are naturally without the interference of illusions or the impressions left upon us by our environments growing up is the real aspiration. Yet, most have no idea who they are at their essence. Consciousness is that playground to distinguish between our authentic Self and the other energies we naturally pick up through quantum entanglement. When we witness our

perspectives, we create an energy process of orienting the brain/body while at the same time grounding the Self within the human body. Doing so removes the illusion of separation. This is the playground you came here for; whether we know it or not, humans are made to discern, modulate, and apply themselves between these two states. 

Let’s go mainstream for the newcomers; how often do we get lost in relationships? A connection of affection that may easily become an attachment in the fantasy of a desired state or a wound within us. Are we falling in love or filling the holes left in us by our environment or the aspiration of what we want to feel like or be seen as? What about someone special who checks all your boxes, including the map that guides your heart, yet ya haven't spent in-person time together in the day-to-day reality of this new possibility: Is texting and talking on the phone a real connection? It certainly offers an idyllic situation through our ability to respond in our own time and to ask questions when concerned with a tone or font. Yet, in real life, face to face, body to body, we often fail to take our space in relationships or notice when we have lost ourselves in an ungrounded state, so instead, we project our personal needs upon the other. What it takes to find your grounding wants to be known by you first. Can you continue to consciously, discerningly check the rapport between you and another? Can you speak directly about your experiences and uncertainties? Can you be real with yourself and the other?  

More examples. This projection really gets me:  “I don’t want you to worry about me.”  This really means that you don’t want to think about your sincere participation, thoughts, and desires. When you don’t question your experience and bring it to its full expression, that is the basis of delusion and propagates illness. How about this: Who isn’t guilty of hanging on too long when a relationship dwindles to roommate status? Intimacy is gone, or it was never there, and all that remains is your history. Here’s another circumstance that is sadly too popular: staying with a partner who has acted abusively, yet you think it’s our fault, or you hope that with your love, they will change. These are dream states, where those involved are not taking the time needed to address their wounds and do not believe the reality of who they are… or those they are dealing with.  

You see, the ultimate issue was never the realtiohsip, alcohol, or food. For most, the real problem is taking the time required to heal after sobriety or rape because that is when the real and challenging work just begins. 

Our making is polarized within a continuum of holographic charges ranging from positive to negative, yet without consciousness, we go into dream states or illusions as a reprieve from the Self. My father just said to me, I watched a bit of Tv before bed to take a break from myself. His humor is brilliant. We all take ourselves into dreams or illusionary places through fantasy, books, media, thoughts, and tasks or by allowing ourselves to be caught up in problems, whether they are ours or not. These are all fantasies that many take on to escape reality. Especially during times of high conflict, some avoid pain, grief, anxiety, and anger, which are a natural and beautiful part of who we are within the Earthly realm. Even in the holistic healing community where being positive or neutral can be a mandate or something taught to aspire towards. When in truth, the first integral thing is to honor all our parts, positive or negative, by allowing them to be expressed, they would move through and past us to distill and dissipate, and their important lessons would reveal themselves clearly. 

Watch yourself when there is a problem. For example, the helper types come-a-running as if in a feeding frenzy to fill the holes within that allude them through serving others. Ultimately, illusions can serve us and/or be the culprit of our suffering. Noticing what is true consciously, even if it is an illusion, is the first step in the natural functionality of your human energy system. Try this the next time you feel constricted or fear being too big, say “hello” to what is being experienced by you, for example: “Hello, fear. Thank you for showing yourself to me clearly and allowing me to be with you in your entirety.” By taking the time to do this, you will create a better connection with the cells that make up your form. You will become more embodied.

Toward the end of last month, this blog came to my awareness before our perceptions of Kamala Harris as President changed. Now many of us are asking ourselves how this could be our reality. In my experience and hope, corruption and a lack of continuity seem to be in their bubble phase. We all know that sometimes the forest must burn to turn its soil. As gross and perverted as this moment is for me, often, humans must crumble into the gutters of despair before we can rebuild. My constant, in any process, even when my reality is feeling victimized, is to gather information from within so I may self-realize my participation in it. The root of all problems and solutions begins within us. 

Months ago, I wrote a blog on “Cherry Picking Ethics” ~ that metaphorically tells this same story many are experiencing now! 

Here’s an update on “Cherry Picking Ethics:” On November 1st, some in the APTA community gathered, attempting to revitalize and serve their paying community whom they manipulated and misled. Together, these peeps are forgoing or think they are above right-relationship with APTA’s honorable Ethics committee, its members, and the slain educational wing of APTA called the CGC. No matter how keen these magicians are, this choice attempts to manipulate the elementals, yet ultimately doesn’t bypass the schism left in the field by the current and past Board of Directors and its roots that date back to APTA’s inception. It’s called the all-seeing eye for a reason; in other words, you cannot fool creation. In my witnessing, the USA & APTA’s disorientation wants full accountability by being in integrity and alignment over any actions and perceptions, so hold on; this will be Mr. Toad's wild ride and possibly the end of these institutions as we have known them. 

From an untethered place, seeking a still moment, I have asked myself; how will I remain present during this unhinging? A dear friend, who is brilliant around the science of creation, said, “Kinda crazy to finally realize that life itself is nothing but an elongated waking dream state.” I agree, and, one that is of our making and choice. I have fought against forced positivity and love rhetoric that permeates society on Earth to embrace the dualities within me. And, I have learned to like it, despite living as the bad guy willingly ;-). I have come to embrace the reality of my dharma or life’s path to activate and move energy fields; thankfully, any illusion of my participation in that is gone. I am here to clean and clear as a vulture would. Regardless of my challenges, I am here to witness these tension fields as they process through. To be clear, we are all processing and experiencing energies from others; I am just doing it as my calling. 

Consciousness has earned my trust no matter what the world around me presents. And, it is here for you, as you, should you choose to apply it as a reprieve and a reset with all that is. Consciousness is here for us as a tool because it wants to play and dabble in the duality of this Earthly realm. Some will always attempt to bypass matter or manipulate the elements; I say so what? Hello to that disorientation. Ciao. Aloha. This apex is the sweet spot for those who consciously harmonize responsibly with Earth's polarizing nature. The exercise, as I see it, is to actively return to your coherent state no matter the circumstances, while enjoying the cheeseburgers, consensual sex, beautiful artistry, and all the different personality dynamics, even delusion. Do this by unapologetically living as our authentic Self. Should you choose, embrace the play between your illusion and reality as your playground. Go there; this is the calling of the Divine Feminine; say no or yes, be direct, be harsh or yielding when desired. The challenge is vacillating to your centered uprightness and to earthen again and again, to hold the sword of truth strongly when wanted or needed, or to throw your fire stick of action into the Earth as you scream wildly. Do not fear the reality of your next heartened step: honor it.